||[Mar. 20th, 2004|05:25 am]
Interestingly enough, I may suffer from inhereting insomnia from my grandmother. My friends all ahve ahd their bout of no sleep for days on end. I have absolutly no reason not to sleep though. It is spring break... Yet, I wake up at 8am each morning (I almost wish it were 6am that way i could run and ect). The worst part is I know I am too tired to go for a run now. I want to. If nothing else to help me unwind a little. I used Outland (the local goth club) and Skully's (local music bar with ladies' night and 80's music on thrudays) to help let loose and decompress. I need to find a way to get that same feelign outsider hte confines of a place with loud music pumping and with alchohol flowing. Some may say that is my only way to meet people though. If it is then I am SOL with meeting either a possible g/f or any friends b/c I literally say "hi" and people walk away form me. I don't smell bad (at least my friends do not comment). I think the answer is simple and not good: many girls (all people actually) are shallow and I am ugly, for those that stillcling to the idea that they don't date for looks see me to have a disgusting personality. On both fronts I have been attacked. Those taht wish to prove me wrong go ahead. Be warned: My arguements have been built up for over two decades. I should know if I am or am not a loser... (I am a Loser, btw: more to follow so as I can let you know what some of this evidence is).